Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
