Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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