The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
