We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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