I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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