i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
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I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
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Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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