we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
