She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
