Do you still have your period?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
