There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So squirting runs in the family.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
