are you so shy because you have an std?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize