butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
another moral hangover. fuck.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just gift wrapped bread.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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