I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
