youre lurking in front of me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
