Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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