he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
