...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
