Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
