i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
