AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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