I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
