he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
