It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
