Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
