Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
pray to the hookup gods
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
