Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
