When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
