with your own penis?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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