I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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