I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
