this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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