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just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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