i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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