I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
