I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
