I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize