Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
