Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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