there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize