tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
