so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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