If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
