problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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