apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need water and some morals
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
