If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
