her vagine was all disorganized.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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