If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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