i'm lost and i look like a hooker
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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