We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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