no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
