My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
