I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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