I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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