jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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