She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
