I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
