D3 body, D1 cock
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
love makes seman taste better
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
